Today was kinda scary.. I thought I might have miscarried the baby. It was scary.. But I realized that my eating right.. or sleeping enough.. or even taking folic acid, isnt what is keeping this baby alive and growing.. Its God. And I need to rely on God.. Really when it comes down to it, I have to realize that there is nothing I can do to make sure this baby is born healthy. And that scares me.. I dont have the control..
So I guess when the end of the day hits.. which is right now.. I feel very insufficient.. Very fradgile.. Very.. helpless. And I know that its a good thing for me spiritually. I know that this is when God is going to teach me.. But I'm scared.. So just pray for me.. All I want is to take care of this baby, and help it get to its birthday alive.. But I can't really do that.. And its really hard to trust with the things that matter so much to you.. But those are the things God demands that we turn over to him..
So, now that I have totally shattered the "Jennie has it all together picture.. " I guess I will sign off now..
Jennie
Christopher "Judah" Hall
Born on June 8, 2009, A sensative, loving little boy we are proud to call "Son"
Zachary "Justice" Hall
Born 3-10-11 at home. A real joy of a son that God has given us. :)
I do....
Chris and I saying our vows on June 7, 2008 at the Pembina Evangelical Free Church
1 comment:
I'll be praying for you, Jennie. I totally understand how hard it is to let go in times like this...I've had several VERY difficult times in my own life, where NOTHING I could do made any difference...they're some of the sweetest times of fellowship tho: when you let go, give everything to God, and then rest in the knowledge that everything He does is BEST. May our God bless you with the fullness of His peace, His joy, and His comfort as you grow closer to Him!
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